yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
