I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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