All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
