So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
