I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
