Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
