i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Randomize
