she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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