tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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