Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
