I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
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I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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