tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
