He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Randomize
