I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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