walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
