so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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