Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
