Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
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