Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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