I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
