Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
