A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im part way to drunk.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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