Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
