My boss' voice literally gives me gas
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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