North Korea, Best Korea!
im having a threesome with these popsicles
if only i could text you this smell
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
