i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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