North Korea, Best Korea!
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
It's blow job season.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
