There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
