Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
there was a trapeze. enough said
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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