This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
