help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
