Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
