she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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