Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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