fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
