Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
