This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
