He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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