Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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