The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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