So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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