I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
