yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
