i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
