respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
