Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
you never un-have a 4some
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
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