I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
The dick lei will go down in squad history
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
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