Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
