I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.