the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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