The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
