Little spoons don't ask big questions
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
