i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
