I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Never joke about your clitoris.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
