I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
the condom got lost in my hair
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Btw I puked in your glovebox
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
