i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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