So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
