Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
