i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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