I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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