I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.