That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
25 ‘Manly’ Things Guys Do That Are Actually Really Annoying
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!