I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
It's a yes or no question.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?