I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
