FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
