i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Someone signed my nipple.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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