I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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